Love in the time of telecommuting

It’s not easy being single in your early 30s—especially if you’ve never had a boyfriend. (Okay, secret’s out.)

Suddenly, the sound of the clock ticking is deafening. When you look at yourself in the mirror, you see the small wrinkles around your eyes all too clearly. Living your love life vicariously through TV and movies is not enough. It will never be enough. You wonder why family life has happened to your girl friends but not to you. You refuse to remain a fraud and want to become a domestic goddess for real. The longing to share your life with someone suddenly becomes so overwhelming that your heart hurts.  It’s not that you you’re not ready yet. In fact, you’re so ready you’ve already thought about the names you’d give your children and what careers you’d like them to pursue. And it’s not that you’re picky about the men you meet. It’s that you don’t. Meet men. At all.

Love in the time of telecommuting. There’s no such thing, believe me. My job keeps me stuck at home and online for 16 hours a day at most. I take advantage of the Internet in a lot of ways, but I don’t use it to find “prospects.” That’s not the way I roll.  See, I don’t believe in Internet romance. There are too many weird men out there. Besides, it’s easy enough for men to lie when you meet them face to face, so imagine how it is even easier for them to lie about their age, job, status, and whatever else when you’re chatting or shooting each other emails.

Despite my “hi-tech” job, I’m still old school in the things that matter—family, values, and definitely love. The only way to get to know a person well is to be with them face to face, seeing their reactions, observing their body language, and verifying what they’re talking about through their eyes. When I want to get to know a man, I’d want him to be close enough so I could pinch him to know if he’s real.

However, I’m not making it easy for myself to have that relationship I’m looking for. I have no one else to blame but myself for taking on a job that keeps me hidden from the world. I work weekends because my one and only day off is on a weekday, which I mostly spend running errands. Yup, my work guarantees me a zero social life. Freaking fabulous. I could resign, of course, and get myself a new job. That’s not an option for me at the moment, however. The pay is slightly better than that of a regular office job—even if the hours are a bitch. Family and financial independence are top priority, I’m afraid. Not that I’m rich, oh no. Well, not yet anyway. That’s why I need to find a rich husband quick. Haha, kidding. I’m not mercenary.

However, that doesn’t stop me from dreaming of having a relationship and eventually getting married. Can’t I work and find romance at the same time? It happened to a lot of people I know, then why couldn’t it happen to me? Can’t I have my cake and eat it too?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Could somebody please take out the batteries from that clock before I throw a shoe at it?

Bonding over Japanese food at Kitaro

Geek Goddess's bento meal

Finally, our schedules matched and we–Geek Goddess, Travel Goddess, Courtroom Goddess, and I–were able to make our Japanese food trip come true last weekend. The night before over Skype, GG, TG, and I already salivated over what we were going to order. The next day over lunch, we all trooped with stomachs rumbling to Kitaro Robinsons Metro East.

Turning Japanese

Kakiage yum yum!

Live, love, and eat sushi!

To sample the best of Kitaro, we ordered Set E made up of yakisoba, kakiage, pork katsu, ebi sushi, california maki, and tamago sushi. We also ordered individual meals: a bento meal featuring breaded and fried asohos for GG, tuna teriyakidon (as I predicted! For everyone’s information, CG doesn’t eat meat) for CG, gyudon for TG, and ang walang kamatayang oyakudon for myself. I always order oyakudon for my main meal whenever I eat at Kitaro. Walang palya.

The verdict

The verdict? O, eto. May nakikita ba pa kayo?

Ubos na!

Everybody loved the kakiage and the sushi rolls. We were so full we justy couldn’t finish the pork katsu and yakisoba. My personal favorite, aside from oyakudon, is the kakiage. Love the crunchy veggies (especially the kamote) and squid. My cousins and I have our own version of the kakiage. It always turns out like maruya but we still eat it like it’s from a Japanese restaurant. I was a bit disappointed with the yakisoba though because it tasted like ordinary pancit. But then again, the only other yakisoba I could compare it to is the instant version from Nissin. ;p

TG told me over Skype this morning that she was still craving for sushi rolls. They’re quite addicting, really. I still have some leftover nori wrapper in the fridge because a few months back, I had this intense craving for sushi rolls that I made them myself. I used kani (imitation crab) and canned tuna for the filling. I even brought some over to GG to let her sample them. Itanong nyo na lang sya kung ano ang masasabi nya. ;p Anyway,  I’ll be posting step-by-step instructions (including pictures) on how to make homemade sushi rolls sometime soon so watch out for that.

Japanese food appeals to me because I love rice. I also love the way the food is presented so tidily and mouthwateringly simple–like it’s art. I don’t care much for raw fish, though I do love Kitaro’s crunchy tuna maki. I’ve never tried sashimi because I’m afraid my stomach wouldn’t be able to take it.

We could barely stand up; our tummies were so embarrassingly full, well, except for CG’s haha.

So will we be having a part two? You betcha. Wala kaming papalagpasing pagkain! Nyahahaha!

Blame it on the weather

The clouds are moving in, but it's all good!

I have been so lazy lately, and I blame it completely on this windy and rainy weather we are having.

Oh but I love it!

I do love sunny weather with cloudless blue skies and the sun burning brightly; however, I also love depressing weather with cloudy gray skies and cold winds. There is beauty in sadness.

When I was younger, I used to collect posters–those with scenic images and poetry–which I bought from National Bookstore. I would display them in my study area or hang them on my wall. One time, my lola dropped by for a visit and hung out in my room. She noticed my poster collection and commented on this particular one that featured two wooden chairs facing a stream. “You actually like this one?” she asked in a disbelieving tone. “But it’s lonely.” I looked at the poster, then at her perplexed face, and told her yes. In truth, I bought that poster because I found it romantic despite its lonely ambiance. The image was clearly shot on a cloudy day, but that only added to its poignancy. It soothed me instead of making me feel depressed.

That is why cloudy, windy, and rainy days have the power to make me lazy and sentimental. I would rather think than work. I would rather listen to music than work. I would rather gaze outside my window, watch the dark clouds pass by, and follow the swaying of the branches than work.

Lazy days are here again!

The Waistline Saga

I used to have a waistline of 24 inches. Five years later, it shot up to 30 inches. Now less than another year later, it’s already 32 inches. I tried fitting into my clothes which I could wear before with ease but now made me feel suffocated. After another period of denial, I finally learned to accept that the waistline increase was here to stay. I obliged our househelp to order blouses and shirts and pairs of jeans (a whole set of new wardrobe really) from her Natasha and Sundance catalogs. It was a very expensive decision, as I bought several items that would last me two years. (I have since regretted that as I kept on seeing my clothes on several other people who had done the same thing. But that’s another story.)

I find it funny that my neighbors are more concerned about my girth than I am. This day alone, a total of four neighbors commented on my looking “very healthy” or “very rounded”, just like they did the previous times when I last bumped into them. My kid brother told me just this evening that somebody from the sarisari store near our chapel told him to tell me “na mag-reduce daw ako” (that I should have my weight reduced). I remember my Ninang, who is a next-door neighbor, exclaimed with a matching pair of raised eyebrows when she saw me, “Naku wala ka nang bewang!” (Gosh, you have no more waistline!) I am not alarmed about my fast weight gain, but I mourn the loss (or gain?) of my waistline so I was a bit stung by that remark. 

Go figure. My weight problem is becoming not only my own. It’s like the next thing I should expect is my weight on the agenda of the next homeowners’ meeting. Good thing I am not getting offended… yet.

And it’s the same thing at home. My mother constantly reminds me to do something about my widening girth. She sees these obese people on TV documentaries and remarks “Sana hindi ka umabot sa ganyan” (I hope you don’t become as large as that). She even suggested once or twice that I save up for a liposuction. I waited for a punchline but none came.

Just eight months ago, my body looked passably ok. That was when I went home after resigning from work abroad. People were surprised to see me looking so “fit”, considering I was a bit “chunky” already when I left almost seven months earlier. One even made a remark that I looked like a star Honestly, I did not notice that I got thinner, well except for my pants eventually requiring a belt in order for them to stay up. It beats me why I lost much weight. For one thing, I never became hungry. All those months, I would usually eat greasy viands for lunch and dinner from hawker centers; sometimes my housemate would serve us two to three dishes with generous helpings of rice while we watched TFC. I actually thought I was gaining more weight. Now I wonder where all those food went? The only exercise I did was my everyday walk to and from office: I was forced to walk for 15 minutes from the MRT to the office, and another 15 minutes for the same route back on evenings. Maybe that was it. Or that my breakfast consisted only of Indocafe coffee and Marks and Spencer choco digestives. Or that I thought I was constantly under stress.

Now that I’m back in the PI, I am doing my work at home so my (forced) fitness regimen is already non-existent. Here is a summary of my daily routine:

• I wake up at 2pm then open my Thinkpad.
• While my emails are downloading and apps are opening, I eat lunch then take a bath afterwards.
• While surfing the net or doing my assigned tasks (usually just surfing the net hehe), I have a bottle of iced tea and either a sweet pastry or really salty chips to keep me company while my eyes are glued on my monitor.
• Then I eat dinner which I try to accomplish by consuming only a small amount of rice.
• I call it a day at around 4-5am. Sometimes if I’m still awake by 6 or 7am, I eat breakfast with my kid brother who’s about to go to school before I hit the bed.

So you can see the amount of exercise I get daily which I would like to call My 8-Step Fitness Routine: walking from bed to work table (8 steps), from work table to dining table (8 steps), from dining table to bathroom (8 steps) and then the same thing backwards. No wonder it was easy for me to grow horizontally.

I am no-good at exercise. A few years ago, TG and I once jogged around the Marikina Sports Center oval for exactly one hour. It should have been a good start for us, but then we had Big Mac meal afterwards. So it was never repeated–we just went straight to eating a Big Mac. Two weeks ago, I resolved to walk on treadmill for 20 minutes (at least with three 10-minute rest periods within). That resolve lasted for a good two days. I try doing crunches and calisthenics, but I’m just so bored doing them I usually end up doing only 2-3 repetitions. I don’t think membership to a fitness club will help me either. Just thinking about leaving the house makes me tired already.

I know I have to stop the expansion of my waistline. I know I need to do something about my weight. I know, I know, I just hope that eventually (and I hope soon), I will have the patience to actually work on it.

Fortune Telling

I first had a taste of fortune telling at 12. Our household helper at that time claims she knows palmistry. I excitedly showed her my palm. She turned my hand sideways, brushed it with her thumb and announced, “ne, maikli lifeline mo, baka hanggang 30 years old ka lang”.

Many people want to get a glimpse of their future, an idea of the present reality and an analysis of their past.

Two years ago, my goddess friends and I marched to Tandang Sora in Quezon City to have our fortunes read just for kicks. We met Ate Baby, the manghuhula, who once did continuous reading for two hours off-cam for some TV show. It drained her and she says it’s not good. Exhaustion reduces the accuracy of the reading. Before a session, Ate Baby says, the fortuneteller should have had enough rest or sleep. Ideally, she must not do many sessions in a day.

If you’re heading to Quiapo, maybe you should schedule it in the morning when your reader isn’t tired. Imagine those fortunetellers sitting under the heat and noisy sidestreet, and when she announces “you will not pass the board exam” or “your future boyfriend’s name starts with Z” you believe her!

Ate Baby prefers to remain “underground” because she is a homemaker first and only does fortune telling by request and by referral. At 8am, our session started. Ako ang unang sinalang.

She used four methods of divination (if that’s how they call it in their world): numerology, cartomancy, palmistry and molescopy.

Numerology. She took my full name and the name of the person I love (or the person you think you may have a future with). She did some subtraction, addition and all those sorts they call math which I hate. After a while, she will tell you the result whether you are compatible with that person or not.

Tarot Card

Cartomancy. She used three types of playing cards – Regular, Tarot and Oracle. At that time, I didn’t know that she was doing all types of spread and that they represent something until I read Wikipedia. Ya see, I was listening intently to her interpretations. It was my first time in cartomancy. Most of the time, Ate Baby used Wheel of Fortune and Celtic Cross. She asked us to mix our own cards because the cards we pick and the results are dependent on our pulse. 

Palmistry. If your husband cheated on you and you’re now in your second marriage, yes, blame it on your lines. LOL! (GG, care to tell us about it?) Your fate is in your hands, the proverb of the palmists. Hey, if you want to do some personal palm reading, just holler and I’ll send you a copy.

Molescopy. I don’t remember Ate Baby doing this to me, but she did to CG. CG has a prominent mole at the back of her hand, which Ate Baby says means authority and power. Or sumthin, CG? Well, I don’t have any “nunal na buhay”.

Fortune telling gives you results on these basics – love life, surprise and future, emotions and personality, career or studies, luck, travel, possible outcome of your actions, financial and health.

My officemate says, be careful when thinking about the results of the session. What you are starting to believe, which the fortuneteller said will happen, might actually come into reality if you focus on it. Those are live energies.

Personally, I believe that the results have an ounce of truth in them. Ate Baby “guessed” some true things about my past and some realities of my present life, so some of my future she saw may be true as well. The results, I think, are actual manifestations of our feelings and thoughts during the session, which we transmit “invisibly” to the reader and the tool she’s using – cards for example. And the reader is only the interpreter. Thus somehow, they may have a drop of accuracy.

By the way, this short lifeline thing in my palm, guess what? I’m still breathing.

The Goddess Musings

It is five months till I turn 31.

I have never imagined myself at this age. In all my fantasies about my future self, my age stopped at age 27 because ideally it was the age when I would get married–when my life would really start. It has been three years since that age and I am as far from marrying as I was then. Such has been my destiny, so far. However, all is not lost. Not at all. The past couple of years have taught me a lot about life, and now at 30, I realize that my life has only just begun.

Oh what a prospect!

It is damn scary, however. Thinking about the future always makes me scared, but now I am more accepting, more active, and more importantly, more hopeful. That kind of takes the edge off a bit.

With the help of God, my family, and my goddess friends, I can turn this new journey into something exciting and definitely worthwhile.

Oh joy!

The Domestic Goddess